He is Lovely (But not Lovely Enough)
by Yellow Glass
Summary: Sakura and Sasuke, doing loops and circles, at the cusp of a reenactment of history that wasn't to be.


History repeated itself.

The fact seemed to drone on and on in Sakura's mind, rewinding over and over until it drowned out everything else. Until Sakura's mind turned to mush and everything became removed and distant.

In the end, when the great saga of team 7 finally ended itself, Sakura had been put at the backstage again, shoved at the little corner where she can't do anything by the man-boy she loved.

She had truly believe that she had been dead, killed through a chidori to the chest, she had thought that _this is it Sakura, congrats, you survived three megalomaniacs out of four._ But it seemed that it wasn't to be.

Waking up was disconcerting, reality and illusion intermingling until Sakura didn't which is which. But then she heard the distant booms and knew that she'd been shoved aside once again. Kakashi-sensei's presence helped a bit, steadying her and reassuring that _no, Sakura you're not dead, it was just an illusion. Let's go check on those two idiots and make sure they don't kill each other._

But it wasn't just an illusion. Something had given _in_ inside her, something worn and tired and rusty, and Sasuke putting a chidori through her chest seemed to be just the thing it needed for it to collapse.

Ahead, the booms and flashes had already stopped. Sakura felt her breath hitch because _this was it, this was the ending and she wasn't even there to see it, always at the sidelines, always at some sort of odd limbo of being halfway in and halfway out; the unsolicited third side of the triangle that was needed but not wanted._

Plain Sakura Haruno who had pink hair and was the one you went to when you were hurt and could occasionally create fissures, that's who she was. Maybe, if she hadn't been in her particular team, in her particular generation, she would have shone brightly, the medical prodigy who surpassed one of the Sannin in three years; but that wasn't here. She was a member of team 7, the medic, the one that fixed everyone up and was then soon forgotten. The side character in the saga, always put aside in the face of Naruto's brightness and Sasuke's ability. The two dimensional damsel that was just there, and once, Sakura would have protested, would have yelled and raged in the face of being snubbed. Would have strived to prove everyone wrong and prove just how valuable she was, that she just wasn't some cut-out cardboard figure that existed so that the hero would have a romantic resolution.

But Sakura had grown up. She was no longer the doe eyed, fresh faced girl that she once was, and believing that everything was going to be okay, that everything was going to turn out alright in the end no matter what happened was tiring. Sakura had learned a few things here and there, nothing much, nothing too important to warrant attention, but she had. While a part of her still wishes, still _yearns_ for that elusive, picturesque ending Sakura knew better now.

There were just some things that couldn't be ignored, couldn't be brushed away with a teary apology during the denouement.

* * *

When Sakura saw them both she had felt nostalgic, a bittersweet sensation in her chest that made her throat lock up and her eyes sting. Somehow the fact that Naruto and Sasuke were both missing one arm surprised her. Some part of her still refusing to acknowledge the fact that they would really do each other serious harm, still believing that it was just some sort of light boy problem and that a little roughing each other up was the worst thing that could happen.

Despite prior evidence it seemed that some part of Sakura was still clinging to her fairy tale ending.

Naruto was as Naruto as ever, even while missing an arm; greeting her with much enthusiasm, Sakura couldn't find it in her to respond right now so she didn't. She had just begun to heal their injuries, focusing on the stumps first, when Sasuke had begun to speak.

"Sakura I…" Sasuke seemed to be waiting then, and when she just continued to fix his and Naruto's arm he seemed to take it as a go ahead. "I'm sorry."

And perhaps Sakura would have forgiven him just a few minutes ago, perhaps she would have cried and told Sasuke that all was well and gone _oh Sasuke-kun._

But there was too much between them, too much hurt and grief and thoughtless acts. There was a chasm between them, writhing with all the misunderstandings, and Sakura didn't think love could cross that. Sakura didn't think that love was enough for this.

Little pink haired Sakura Haruno had sworn her everything to a dark boy on a lonely night and he had thrown it away.

Fresh faced, pink haired Sakura Haruno had braved Orochimaru and his horrors for a dark teen and was thrown away.

Grim faced, pink haired Sakura Haruno valiantly chose to risk knocking out her comrades and lying to her friend in order to kill a dark teen she loved and found herself unable to do so. He still threw her away.

Exhausted, cynical, frustrated, but hoping Sakura Haruno had bared her vulnerabilities, bared her being, had hoped hard and offered what she could to a dark man-boy and had gotten a chidori to the chest for all her troubles.

It would be so easy to let it happen, so easy to believe that everything will be alright because _Sasuke-kun was sorry and he was going to kiss all the hurt away._ It would be so easy to let him sweep her into his arms and let everything go back to the way it used to be. Sakura still loved him, loved him so hard that she was certain that if she could take his pain she would.

Sakura was tired though. A tired that seemed to seep into your bones, settling like lead and making everything feel stifling. Sakura just wanted it to end. Wanted the forlorn story of team 7 to draw to a close and then go back to the hospital. Team 7 _had_ been her world, but she had made her own place now, had carved her own little niche in the hospital and was no longer a flyaway strand caught in the hurricane that was team 7.

So Sakura grit her teeth and held back her tears and didn't reply.

"Hey, Sakura-chan?" It was Naruto that spoke, his voice losing some of its natural cheer as doubt began to make its way in.

Sakura felt bad then in that moment. For snatching away a piece of Naruto's chipped fairy tale ending. But no amount of guilt could sway her decision, no amount of encouragement or support can erase the things between her and Sasuke.

"Yes, Naruto?" She replied.

"Why aren't you replying to the bastard?" For a moment his bruised face tried to frown but then he grimaced and relaxed his facial muscles.

"I don't have anything to say to him." Sasuke reacted then, his face a picture of confusion. Sakura couldn't stand him. Couldn't stand how he was confused why she had no words for him.

Finished with the major injuries Sakura rose and headed back to camp without a glance back, she could feel Kakashi-sensei following her, but he seemed to be content in the silence.

She still loved Sasuke, but she had her own place now, her own little world, and Sakura wasn't that desperate for his love, wasn't willing to cross the gaping maw between them.

She still loved him. When Sakura said forever she actually meant it; that he would have a piece of her heart for all of eternity. But there was too much between them now; too much lost and too much heartache.


End file.
